Thursday, April 21, 2016

Prince Dies



        Today, the sheriff's department in Hennepin County, Minnesota went out to Prince's estate to find him in cardiac arrest in an elevator. Although CPR was performed, he was later pronounced dead.  Within the past week his private plane had made an emergency stop in Illinois so that he could go to a hospital with a severe case of the flu. Some news outlets have been reporting that he had a prior medical history of epilepsy.  His real name was Prince Rogers Nelson and those who have met him or worked with him have said he was a true musical prodigy, He worked in the music business successfully for over 35 years. He was 57 at the time of his passing.
                    He is probably best known for the songs "1999", "When Doves Fly", "Lets Go Crazy" "Kiss" , and of course, "Little Red Corvette".  He not only performed, but wrote hits for Sheila E, Sheena Easton, and the Bangles.

   "Six o'clock already and I was just in the middle of a dream"
    "I was kissing Valentino in a crystal blue Italian stream"

    (From Manic Monday)     This is vintage Prince.

   One of my personal favorites is a song Prince wrote that was specifically written for and recorded by Celine Dion.

He is also known for the the aid he gave to other musicians in terms of assisting them in the music business.

             I remember well that the year in which Daniel was born saw the birth of Prince's only child.  The child had significant birth defects and Prince and his wife did everything they could for him. I believe the boy spent most of his life in the hospital until he died. The following year, the two were divorced.

              Prince impacted several generations with his music.  It's hard to believe that both he and Michael Jackson are now gone.   Prince released two albums last year and had worked up to a week or so ago.

             Prince was known for being intensely private.  He was also a Jehovah's Witness and did go door to door on occasion.  The band in Heaven just gets better and better.

             I send my condolences to his family, his friends, and the remaining members of his band.

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

A Visit to Elmira, New York in Dream



   Last night I had the most strange dream.  The family and I were traveling out of state to meet someone who was providing both a reference and a great opportunity for a job for our eldest son. The family was happy to travel there with him so that he could be alert and well rested for the appointment.  As he often is in my dreams, Daniel was with us.  We arrived in Elmira, New York and attended an afternoon party at the home of the man who was providing our son with a reference. He had a large home which had everything from a bar inside to an English garden outside. The party spilled throughout the house and through the gardens.  The gathering was very nice and we all had a nice time. We realized, as we took quite a time to gather our large family, that no one had seen Daniel since the beginning of the party.   The rest of the dream was spent with the family wandering through different businesses in Elmira looking for Daniel. He had visited several shops and had apparently left the party to explore. He had no cell phone.  Of course, in real life, Daniel has been gone for seven years. In real life, Daniel would not leave somewhere without someone knowing where he is and how to reach him. He would also have borrowed a cell phone in order to stay in touch. In the dream, I was truly worried and afraid because although he would be nineteen now, in the dream, he was twelve and a half.

              I awoke in a sea of perspiration, with the instant knowledge that I not only would not be retrieving him from Elmira, New York, but that he had been gone from Earth for seven years already. I have no idea why the dream was set in Elmira. I haven't driven through there since 1983 when I used to drive the rural routes from our home in rural New Jersey to Montreal.  In a sense, I suppose I lost Daniel during the journey that is life. Perhaps the dream is simply my own restatement of this.

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

A Message to Daniel

Sam Shepheard


 Today, one of my friends from Linkedin reported that his son Sam had passed overnight in his sleep. Most of us know how lost we would be, as parents, if we were to lose one of our children, especially unexpectedly. We could imagine what a loss and a devastation that could be. However, our family has actually lost a son unexpectedly.  You passed in an instant almost seven years ago, and although I recognize the shock, the loss and the grief, I am short of any real wisdom.

    What can I say to his father Craig ?   I could tell him that Heaven is real and that Sam is safe with God and is free from the limits our bodies and brains place upon our far more perfect souls. I could tell him that I have heard from you, and my Dad in dream, and that you have provided factual information in advance of our hearing it later from others here on Earth.   I could tell him that at first, when the pain is so new, that the memories of all that you and your child have shared, are locked away in your mind and your heart for safekeeping. Eventually, each of those memories come back one by one, almost in technicolor. The moments of your hugs and things you said are now some of the very best memories of my own life here on Earth. I want to tell him not to evaporate. I want to tell him that it's worth continuing to live and that there is good left in his life.  Sam will be there when it is time for him to leave this life.

       Daniel, if it's possible for you to welcome Sam, I would appreciate it.   I remember you, and think of you every day here on Earth.  I love you wider than the oceans and deeper than the seas, and I believe you have always known that.

        May God bless Craig and his family, Sam,  you and my Dad.


Wednesday, March 2, 2016

A Gift to Daniel



   One of the sad things about having lost a child, is that now, almost seven years later, I don't know what surprises would have come in terms of the music you would like.  Music is something we could have shared as you grew.  I knew what music you would have enjoyed at 12, but I can only hazard a guess as to what you might like at 20.

          Still, I thought of Daniel when I saw this.  This young man is Aston Merrygold.  He clearly has been influenced by Michael Jackson, but then there is a good deal in the song, and in the video that is his own.  For some reason, I think Daniel would have liked this, and have been amused.

        Aston Merrygold has an album which is about to be released in May, 2016 called Showstopper on Warner Brothers Records

          The song below is from that upcoming album.    Enjoy.


Sunday, February 28, 2016

Have You Seen Jonny Dorey in the Last Six Years ?


    This next week, Jonny Dorey will have been missing for six years.

  The story is a long and complex one, but the facts remain that although his parents accepted the idea that he may have drowned in the James River, his bicycle or his body have never been found.

    So, Jonny.   If you are out there and you've finished exploring for a while, you should contact those who love you.  I can promise you, as a parent of a child who really has passed, that your returning from being "presumed dead" would be the greatest gift to your parents and to your brother.  It wouldn't matter why this happened.

  If you have seen Jonny, then please contact:

 Anyone in the Channel Islands who's had contact with Jonny since Tuesday 2nd March 2010 should contact Guernsey Police on (01481) 725111. 

Virginia Commonwealth University Police can be contacted at (804) 640 3380.

     Although he normally speaks with a British accent, he does have some expertise in other accents.
He is an accomplished camper and outdoorsman, and he likes animals.

Our prior posts on this subject:

Monday, February 8, 2016

The Short and Important Life of Nicole Trott

Nicole is on the left and is pictured with one of her many dear friends.


          Nicole Marie Trott, like Daniel, was one of four children.  She was a high academic achiever and hoped to become a veterinarian. When she wasn't excelling in academics and in sports, she was helping to care for animals in a shelter.  She had been a recent high school graduate and planned to start pre-veterinary studies at Rutgers University in her home state of New Jersey.   Most importantly, she was a kind and loving person who brought joy to everyone who knew her.

              At 18, she attended a party and experienced a collapse and sudden cardiac arrest.  She died in the hospital in which I was trained, which is the Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital.  Upon autopsy, it was learned that a beautiful symptomless girl had a cardiac anomaly called ALCAPA


                Nicole's family has started a foundation that gathers funds for the purpose of cardiac testing for high school athletes.   So many children and teens are collapsing and dying from sudden arrhythmic deaths of a variety of causes.  In Nicole's case, a causation was found, while in our son Daniel's case, no structural cause for his sudden arrhythmic death was ever found on multiple autopsy.

              Please consider donating to:

This is a poem that was written by Nicole:


by Nicole Marie Trott
No definition could ever convey
What such a small word has to say
Movies, songs, poems, and books
Give love many faces and many looks
It cannot be described by words alone
But with a look, or by a lover, shown
Distance can be, to lovers, a vice
So until we're together, these words must suffice
Although we're apart, it's only physically
For when I close my eyes you are here with me
I can smell you scent lingering in the air
And taste your sweet lips as if you're right there
I hear your voice, and it sounds so near
And I can feel your breath whispering in my ear
A glance at your face and in your eyes I hear
All the reasons you love me and hold me near
I hear in the silence what your lips don't say
So I know you love me more each day
You hear me say it and know it's true
But I'll say it again, "I love you"

Waking From a Nightmare

This is not Daniel. So far as I know, he never tried a cigarette or a lite beer. Someone sent me this picture and it looks so similar to him at five or six except that Daniel had lighter eyes. I decided to include it.

           Last night around three thirty in the morning, I had a strange dream.  We were all living in the blue house we had owned when the older children were small. Daniel had never lived there. He had been born in the next much larger home we moved to after this one.   In the dream, I came home in the afternoon from work and could not find Daniel.  I quickly tried to call everyone including the older children who were in college. I was hoping that someone had picked him up to do something, and I had either not known or had forgotten.  I had trouble making these calls because I had a new phone and could not get it to respond the way I wanted, especially in view of the stress of being worried.  None of them knew why he would not be at home today. When I called his school they said that he had not reported to school that day.  This is also strange because Daniel never attended school.  He was homeschooled all of his academic life. I also rarely if ever, worked during the day. I was consumed with worry. I went outside and called for him, as if he had simply been playing outside.  I knew something was very wrong, although I still hoped there was some sensible explanation for his absence that I had not considered. In the dream, I believe he was about nine years old.  I began to dial the police when I awoke. My heart was pounding and I was in a cold sweat.  However, waking from this particular nightmare brought no particular solace. Daniel is still not here with us.   Yes, he died suddenly and unexpectedly and was not abducted never to be heard from again. But his beautiful flesh and smile are still not here. He is still absent from Earth in the manner in which we always knew him.  I lay awake until four thirty when I decided to start the day.

                    Perhaps I had this dream because there was an amber alert on my phone yesterday. Perhaps my own psyche is trying to tell me that Daniel's passing from a sudden arrhythmic death is preferable to an unexplained disappearance. Sometimes, I tell myself that in a parallel dimension, there is a Daniel who still lives with us, and is not twelve and a half as he was at his departure from Earth, but who will be twenty years old in May.  I just know that I still have empty arms.

Saturday, January 9, 2016

Visits in the New Year


         I haven't heard from Daniel in a dream in quite a while.  I wasn't really pining to do so, although as I have said on this blog many times, that anytime he or my Dad would like to appear in dream, I would be happy to see them.  Last night at I believe about five in the morning, I heard from Daniel, once again.    He was on a short trip with three of his friends.  Two of them were light brown haired young men, about his age, one of them with glasses.His friends briefly discussed something about Russia and it being Christmas there, and something about the oceans and dolphins. The other one was a brunette young mother, about thirty, who was a nurse who came wearing a multi-colored scrub top and pink scrub pants.   They were stopping off to visit loved ones in the holiday and New Year season.  We were all eating hors d'oeuvres mostly made of cheese. There were some I noticed that were little axes and arrowheads of cheese.

                In the dream, Daniel who will be 20 this year was tall and calm. Somehow I told him that I knew he wasn't dead. I told him that now he was here, that I would like to take him to the electrophysiology cardiologist to make sure that his heart was working as it should be.  I said something about family history. I also wanted to feed him better than lumps of cheese.  I asked him how tall he was now because he seemed to have grown a great deal. He didn't know how tall he was, and so I estimated from my height that he was between 5"10 and 6 feet tall.  "Yes, you're six feet", I said with some certainty.   Then Daniel said, "I just came to give you this" Then he hugged me. I could feel the hug as if it were real. Then, they all had to go.
               In the dream I thought that Daniel was physically present as if his passing had been some type of mistake. Upon awakening, I realized that this was simply a visitation in which he came to show me that he is alright, and to leave a hug.

               I am happy to have visits from Daniel and his friends anytime. 

Thursday, December 24, 2015

Voices Below the Wind at Christmas

  Dearest Daniel and Dad,

                     It's hard for me to believe that it's been seven years since each of you departed Earth.     So many things have happened, in the world, in the US and on the farm since that time.  Part of me believes that you know of these things, and then sometimes I am not so sure.  Part of me hopes sometimes that Heaven is so much better than Earth that you are not even concerned with some of the minutia that concerns me. Not a day passes when I don't think of each of you.    Sometimes I work in the barn with the horses or the other animals and I imagine that you both watch me with at least some level of amusement.  Daniel, I know you would love the horses and that you would marvel at how long the alpacas you knew when you were here, have lived, and how well they are doing.  Dad, I think you would be amused that the little girl who fought every one of your attempts at teaching me proper gun handling and to shoot,  grew up to be licensed to carry a firearm everywhere. I think you would be proud that I taught the same to everyone here and that I am a pro firearms and safe handling guru of sorts.

                     This week there was a woman on television named Laura Lynne Jackson who was passing messages from those who have departed from Earth to loved ones here.   It made me sad that so many others don't realize that if we stay still and listen that you do find ways to tell me things that are important. I understand those who seek psychics, although I believe that God gave most of us the ability to listen quietly to the voices below the wind.

                      Merry Christmas to you both.  Please know I love you both very much and that I try hard to do things that I believe would please you both.  Sometimes I feel you both beside me, and I am grateful for your efforts to guide me.  God bless you both.......and thank Him for me, for allowing me to know you both on this all too short trip to the cold Earth.

(Picture:  )

Saturday, December 12, 2015

Another One Has Departed Too Soon

This is Michael Namey, being remembered at his college.  His intelligent gaze even reminds me of Daniel's.

                   Michael Namey was an 18 year old Florida college student studying software engineering at the University of Central Florida.  Michael collapsed in a classroom at his college in September.   He did receive competent emergency care from a trained individual who said that there was no response.  This first responder has also penned a letter requesting more AEDs at the school. Michael was transported and then transferred to another hospital.  Following some time in ICU, he passed.   Michael was not known to have had any medical pre-existing conditions.  His girlfriend did say that he felt as if he was coming down with a cold the night before.   As is often the case with sudden arrhythmic deaths, it has taken some time for all of the autopsy data to be in.   Medical examiners believe that Michael died from a sudden arrhythmia which likely occurred in his case because his heart was silently enlarged. The normal range for someone his size/weight would have been 450 gms in the upper range of normal, and his was indeed 450 gms.   Sometimes relative cardiac enlargement is due to a virus or  there may be other reasons.   Additionally, he experienced a low blood potassium which is also associated with arrhythmias.

                I cannot help but think of our Daniel.  Daniel would be 19 now.  Michael Namey was said to have been very intelligent and a leader.  He and Daniel may have been friends had they known each other.

               We must improve our ways of detecting those at risk for sudden arrhythmic death . Such deaths are far more common than is realized.

               We send our condolences to Michael's brother Joseph and to the rest of his family.

I also send thanks to Corinne Ruiz who never misses noticing each and every sudden arrhythmic death, particularly those in children and teens.   Corinne lost her lovely daughter Olivia to a sudden arrhythmia.
 Without Corinne's continued work on improving awareness of sudden death issues, I would not know of as many as I do.

Michael Alexander Namey

Additional info on Michael Namey's passing:

Read more about Corinne Ruiz, her daughter Olivia, and Olivia's Heart Project at: